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Author Topic: Jokes.  (Read 9730 times)
Book_Wyrm
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« on: 15 August 2009, 10:01:09 »

Post Jokes here.

One of my Favorites:

Two muffins sat on a table. One of them asked the other, "Now what?" The other one yelled "HOLY CRAP, A TALKING MUFFIN!"


A sales man, an clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the clerk. 'I want to be in my holiday home, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales man. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach, an endless supply of  coke and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
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What is magic?
....What is illusion?
.........What is real?
chin
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« Reply #1 on: 18 August 2009, 23:10:27 »

My friend told me a story, in Chinese. So I am retelling the story, in English....

He told me that this 11 years old boy who found Math to be the hardest subject in school.
His parents got him extra books, CDs, home tutors, etc... but still no improvement.
At last, the parents send the boy to a private school, after hearing recommendations from friends.

This school is not only a private school. It's a Catholic private school.

On the first day of the new school year, the little boy bravely ventured into the new new world.
After came home from first day at school, the boy went straight to his room, locked himself inside & started studying.
After two hours of study, he came down to have dinner, and went back to his room for more study.

Day after day, the same pattern repeated. Then it was the end of the first school term.
The boy came home with the report card, drop it to the parents, then went to his room to study again.

The parents looked at the report card, and found their son got an A for Math.
They were elated, ran to the son's room, happy tears in their eyes (ok, I made this up, may be no tears, but they were happy.)

"Was it because of the nuns?"
"No." the boy replied.

"Was it the prayer before the classes?"
"No"

"The teachers? the different way of teaching? the text books??"
"No. None of those."

"Then why???!!!" the parents queried...
And then the boy told them the secret....

"The first day I came to the school,
I saw them nailed someone on the addition sign,
then I knew they were dead serious about Math!"

---
[Since I went to a Catholic school also, now I know why I am not too bad at math.....]
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kido
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« Reply #2 on: 19 September 2009, 15:02:02 »

某人刻苦學習英語,終有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞,
 連忙說:I am sorry.
 老外應道:I am sorry too.
 某人聽後又道:I am sorry three.
 老外不解,問:What are you sorry for?
 某人無奈,道:I am sorry five.
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Hey, diddle, diddle ! The cat and the fiddle.
chin
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« Reply #3 on: 12 October 2009, 17:25:45 »

Just read this on David Webb's site...

There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.
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kido
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« Reply #4 on: 12 October 2009, 18:47:50 »

LOL, another punch:

Why do mathematicians always confuse Halloween and Christmas?




Because 31 Oct = 25 Dec.

[ Oct = octal, Dec = decimal ]

I read these from wiki.
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Hey, diddle, diddle ! The cat and the fiddle.
hangchoi
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« Reply #5 on: 16 October 2009, 11:21:42 »

Just read this from a golf website:

一號木是政治問題,方向最重要。
鐵杆是經濟問題,上果嶺才有收益。
劈杆是生活問題,輕輕鬆松是根本。
推杆是愛情問題,關鍵時刻要敢進洞!

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「吾心信其可行,則移山倒海之難,終有成功之日。吾心信其不可行,則反掌折枝之易,亦無收效之期也。」
wongyan
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« Reply #6 on: 18 October 2009, 23:56:47 »

wow, very mainland chinese tone!!!
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Never stop Learning, Never stop Earning!!
哲人無憂,智者常樂。並不是因為所愛的一切他都擁有了,而是所擁有的一切他都愛。
hangchoi
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« Reply #7 on: 19 October 2009, 00:25:28 »

Exactly, the guy who posted this on the web site said that he learned this from a Mainlander...... Cheesy
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「吾心信其可行,則移山倒海之難,終有成功之日。吾心信其不可行,則反掌折枝之易,亦無收效之期也。」
hangchoi
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« Reply #8 on: 23 February 2013, 00:06:33 »

My nephew, who is in his teenage now, shared this in his Facebook......



* Jonah Joke.jpg (32.31 KB, 432x432 - viewed 554 times.)
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「吾心信其可行,則移山倒海之難,終有成功之日。吾心信其不可行,則反掌折枝之易,亦無收效之期也。」
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