My kid sent me the following...
Religious Truth
Taoism: Shit happens.
Buddhism: If shit happens, it really isn't shit.
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Islamism: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Catholicism: Shit happens because you deserve it.
Protestantism: Work harder or shit will happen.
Materialism: Whoever dies with most shit wins!
Atheist: I can believe this shit!
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us!
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit.